Guardrails Week #5 Me & the Mrs.

This past week in Guardrails we talked about the guardrails that we should have in our marriages and relationships.

Emmy and Tiffany really helped teach last week by giving a voice to the woman's side of a marriage along with some of the guardrails they have as wives and what they expect out of their husbands.

Listed below are a few of the guardrails we talked about:

Guarding your tongue 

-Proverbs 18:21 (NIV) “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”

In one week the average person speaks enough words to write a 500 page book. A lot of times we talk too much and listen too little. (make a chart of the things you say in a day) We often think that our ideas are right and nobody else’s idea is even worth considering. 

Don’t bring up the past-this is like rubbing salt in a wound

Don’t interrupt one another. Agree to listen to each other’s feelings whether you agree or not.

No name calling. Name calling focuses on the character of the individual rather than on the particular problem at hand. 

Don't use "you" messages.“You never” or “you always” or “you’re just like”

Avoid fighting in front of the kids. This doesn’t mean that you have to give your kids the impression that your family is conflict free. 

Remain as calm as possible. Be honest about your true emotions but keep them under control. 

Make Psalms 141:3 your prayer (NIV) Set a guard over my mouth, O LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips.    

If you guys have any questions about some of the other guardrails we talked about feel free to email me or Pastor Marty.

We hope to see you this week in Guardrails as we discuss Guardrails..."Once and for All!" - We live with an internal conflict between our values what we know is right and our desire for immediate fulfillment. In areas like finances, relationships, and careers, a guardrail can feel like a barrier to something that seems good now. So why bother having guardrails if they just add to the tension? In this message, Andy presents a story from the life of Daniel, persuading us to establish guardrails now . . . once and for all.

If you are a Facebooker, make sure you join the Guardrails Facebook group HERE! Also send your friends to our class page HERE!

Make sure you leave your questions and comments by clicking HERE!

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Week #4 "Give, Save, Live!"

I wanted to say an extra special thanks to each of you who came to class last week. We talked about a pretty unpopular topic, money.... 

I wanted to say thanks for your questions and comments, I felt like class really went well. I wanted to give you guys the highlights and notes from this past week in case you missed any, or weren't able to come to class. But before I do that I wanted to take just a minute of your time to remind you about class this week! Emmy and Tiffany will be joining Marty and I to help teach this week's class, "Me and the Mrs." we hope that you can make it as we discuss guardrails in our marriages and relationships. Marty and I are fully expecting you guys to vote us out of teach and vote Emmy and Tiffany in! So don't miss out, its going to be fun and exciting! 

Here are some of the notes from this past week:

1.    Spiritual Guardrail: standard of personal behavior that becomes a matter of conscience.

2.    Culture baits us to the edge of disaster and tells us how great and awesome it is then when we step over the line or have a disaster they chastise us

3.    The Bible says so much in the Old and New Testaments about money - God does not want something from you. He wants something for you. It’s true financially.
    a.    God’s biggest competitor for your trust is not the devil its your money.
    b.    How many of you sit at home and wonder...who should I serve? God or the Devil?
        I.    You don't do that, but you let your money take control of your life.

4.    Matthew 6:24
    A.i.    24 "No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.

5.    When our trust is in our stuff, we veer off into one of two ditches: Two ditches on either side of the road…
    a.    consuming/uncontrolled or rampant desire -
        i.    Every dollar comes into the house you spend on something you can consume
        1.    Which leads to consumer debt.
    b.    hoarding/fear. -
        i.    You hoard because of fear, what if this happens
6.    Consumers and Hoarders have a lot in common
    a.    Both are self-centered.
    b.    Both leave you living as if there is no God.
    c.    Both are emotionally driven: fear/desire.
7.    The root is the same for both . . .
    a.    These are my words but throughout Jesus’ teaching, this really the summary of what Jesus said about Greed
    b.    Greed: the assumption that it’s all for my consumption
    c.    If anything comes to me it’s for me…   
    d.    It’s for my consumption
        i.    Either now – consumer
        ii.    Or Later – Hoarder
8.    The GUARDRAIL against greed is to reprioritize your financial world with God at the top.
    a.    Give
    b.    Save (or Hoard)
    c.    Live (or Consume)

9.    Give (give 10% of your income to your local church "storehouse"
    A.    Old Testament believers gave from the best of their crops, not the leftovers. The same principle should apply to our giving today.
    B.    Here are a few scriptures for first fruit offerings - Leviticus 2:12-14; 2 Chronicles 31:5

10.    Save (save 10% of your income, pay yourself next)
    a. Have money for emergencies, vacations, retirement, etc.

11.    Live (Live on 80% of your income not 120% or 150%)
    A. Pay your Bills, buy groceries, pay your mortgage)

12.    Here’s how Jesus said it in the Sermon on the Mount . . .
    a.    Matthew 6
        i.    24 "No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.
    b.    A few minutes later he says this…
        i.    31 So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' [Hoard]
        ii.    32 For the pagans run after all these things [Those who don’t recognize God. Jesus just called you a pagan. You are…Pagan the Hoardarian],
        iii.    and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. [Do you believe that? You think God knows? Cares? Does God know you are saving for college?]
        iv.    33 But [in the meantime . . . while you wait . . . in the gap . . .]
        v.    33 But seek first [Reprioritize. Rearrange. Reorder.]
        vi.    33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

13.    Here are some personal finance guardrails to help you protect your finances

14.    Start a $1,000 emergency fund
    a.    An emergency fund is for those unexpected events in life that you can’t plan for:
        i.    the loss of a job,
        ii.    an unexpected pregnancy,
        iii.    a faulty car transmission, and the list goes on and on.
        iv.    It’s not a matter of if these events will happen; it’s simply a matter of when they will happen.
    b.    This beginning emergency fund will keep life’s little disasters from turning into new debt while you work off the old debt.
    c.    If a real emergency happens, you can handle it with your emergency fund. No more borrowing. It’s time to break the cycle of debt!

15.    Pay off all debt using the Debt Snowball
    a.    List your debts, excluding the house, in order. The smallest balance should be your number one priority. Don’t worry about interest rates unless two debts have similar payoffs. If that’s the case, then list the higher interest rate debt first.
    b.    IGNORE INTEREST RATES
    c.    PAY OFF THE SMALLEST DEBT FIRST
How does the debt snowball work?
        i.    When you pay off that first small debt…you take your payment from that debt and add it to the payment of your next smallest debt…
        ii.    So..say you have a $30 payment every month for a sofa…
        iii.    Well you’ve gotten crazy and sold an old bike, a tv, a couple of old cell phones and a bunch of other junk you’ve been hoarding…
        iv.    And you’ve gathered enough cash that you paid that sofa off in 3 months!
        v.    AWESOME!!!! Now what?
        vi.    Well you take that $30 a month you were using to pay off that sofa…and now you add it to the payment of $150 a month on that credit card you’ve been trying to pay off for 3 years.
    1.    So instead of only paying $150 a month you are paying $180 a month or more!
        vii.    Then you follow suit once you pay off that credit card, you take the $30 a month from the sofa, the $150 a month from the credit card and tack it on top of the $320 a month you are paying on the car you bought 3 years ago.
        viii.    Just think about this
    1.    Say you have those 3 debts, once you pay them off you will have an extra $500 a month!!!
    2.    You can then apply that money to bigger debts if you have them
    3.    If that was all of your debt you can now add it to your savings and your mortgage payment
    4.    Or maybe you can now afford to stop paying rent and buy a home
        ix.    Obviously you can choose to give more as well…


16.    Get 3-6 months of your living expenses saved back
    a.    Once you complete the first two steps, you will have built serious momentum. But don’t start throwing all your “extra” money into fun stuff, investments, or vacations quite yet. It’s time to build your full emergency fund. Ask yourself, “What would it take for me to live for three to six months if I lost my income?” Your answer to that question is how much you should save.
    b.    Use this money for emergencies only:
        i.    Incidents that would have a major impact on you and your family.
        ii.    Keep these savings in a separate account.
        iii.    Remember, this stash of money is NOT an investment;
        iv.    It is insurance you’re paying to yourself, a buffer between you and life.

17.    How do we get this extra money to start an emergency fund and to pay our debts off faster?
    a.    By putting any and all extra money available on the payments for that smallest debt
    b.    What if you don’t have any extra money?
    c.    Find some things to cut out of your budget..WHAT!!! But I can’t cut anything
        1.    cut your cable
        2.    cut your Internet
        3.    Bypass a season of tickets to Hog games
        4.    Shrink your cell phone plan
        5.    Or get a track phone for $30 a month w/ unlimited texting
        6.    Take your lunch to work
        7.    Don’t eat out for a while, don’t get a coke at work
        8.    Stop going to starbucks for 6 months
        9.    Rent movies or go to the cheap theatre
I polled some of the ladies on our church staff for these next few points...
        10.    Ladies cut out the highlights and just go with a solid color for a while
        11.    Ladies do your own nails, no more Mani-Pedi
        12.    Sell your Gas guzzling vehicles for a more efficient one
        13.    Check movies out from the library instead of spending gobs of money on movies…
        14.    Don’t watch a movie…read a book…
            i.    Read the Bible…
            ii.    Pray instead of “entertaining” yourselves
        15.    Cut back recreational shooting…the ammo is insane
        16.    Cut back how often you golf, fish, etc
        17.    Cut out the gym membership, run around the block
        18.    Turn up the ac in the summer a few degrees and turn the heat down in the winter
        19.    Buy clothes from lesser expensive stores, thrift stores…discount stores….yard sales
        20.    Buy used items instead of new
        21.    Cut back your grocery cost by not always buying name brand products
        22.    Coupon
            v.    Swallow some pride and save yourself from financial ruin
            vi.    Have a garage sale, sell some stuff, create extra income

Make sure you make this Wednesday, Do guardrails really work? Marty and Emmy Cluck & Ryan and Tiffany Rose will share several of the guardrails they've built into their lives. Those guardrails may not be models for everyone, but they've worked for them. Whether you agree with them or not, the bigger lesson is the need to be intentional about setting up guardrails. You'll thank yourself for doing so some day.

If you are a Facebooker, make sure you join the Guardrails Facebook group HERE! Also send your friends to our class page HERE!

Make sure you leave your questions and comments by clicking HERE! 

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Week #3 "Flee Baby Flee!"

Hey everybody! Great class last night, there were 80 of ya'll! We are so glad that you have chosen to be part of our class and grow with us as we go through these guardrails for our life. 

This weeks topic was, "Flee Baby Flee!" The primary focus for this class was guarding yourself from sexual immorality, based on this scripture, 

"Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins people commit are outside their bodies, but those who sin sexually sin against their own bodies."

-1 Corinthians 6:18

This is something every husband wants his wife to do. Every wife wants her husband to do. Every engaged individual hopes his or her fiancé will do. Parents hope their kids will do. Employers hope their employees will do. But few of us embrace this for ourselves. We flirt . . . we don’t flee. This is the area more than any other that culture baits us to the edge of and then mocks us when we step over.

The Apostle Paul gives us some great advice in the following verses about fleeing...

Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? 19 You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies. [In this case, Sexually]

-1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Here are the guardrails that we discussed last night:

Guardrails for Married People:

 
1. Don’t travel alone with members of the opposite sex. If you have to, tell your spouse. 

2. Don’t eat alone with members of the opposite sex. If you have to, tell your spouse. 

3. Don’t hire cute members of the opposite sex because you want to help them. (In other words, don't set yourself up for disaster by hiring someone because you like the way they look...)

4. Don’t confide in or counsel members of the opposite sex. Get them help. Don’t be their help. “But he needs me!” No. He needs help. He doesn’t need YOU. Conversely, if you need help...got to a member of the opposite sex, ESPECIALLY when the problems relate to marriage.

5. When you feel your heart or your desire drifting toward a specific person, tell someone.  (You need a mentor or a close friend who values what you value to confide in and seek counsel from)

Guardrails for Single People:

1. Gouge out your eyes with a spoon. (ok, just kidding)

 
2. Apply the married people’s guidelines in your relationships with married people.

3. No sleepovers with members of the opposite sex.

Make sure that you make it to next week's class, "The Consumption Assumption." This class will be all about finances; 

"Contrary to popular opinion, God does not want something from you, he wants something for you. And nowhere is that more true than with your finances. Then why are we so insistent on separating our faith and our finances? What kinds of guardrails need to go up in order to protect us from financial disaster? "

If you are a Facebooker, make sure you join the Guardrails Facebook group HERE! Also send your friends to our class page HERE!

Make sure you leave your questions and comments by clicking HERE! 

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