Week #2 "Why Can't We Be Friends?" ~ Love God & Love People

Hey Guardrailers, thanks so much for the turnout last night! We had a great class with lots of good discussion and feedback!

I wanted to take this time to encourage all of you who are struggling with having to step back from a friendship(s) /relationship(s). Remember what our scripture told us last night, "Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm." Proverbs 13:20

Don't allow yourself to be with the wrong people, at the wrong time, in the wrong place. You may not ever become a fool, but if you keep company with them, eventually one of their mistakes, disasters, or problems is going to hurt you in a dramatic way.

I also want to give you a second scripture that is even more to the point, "But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people." 2 Timothy 3:1-5

These are very strong words of warning from the Bible. We need to listen to what God's will for our life is, "Face up to God’s will for you and Step Back." You won't regret it in the long-run, the "wise" make decisions today based on tomorrow, and the day after that, and the month after that, and so on.

I'll give you two easy outs when breaking off these relationships:

#1. Blame the Bible, "The Bible tells me that I need to step back from this friendship because it is counterproductive to my spiritual walk." Then give them the scriptures and do your best to walk away in peace. I'm not telling you to be mad at them, do it in love. Let them know that you are there for them, but that the only way for you to be the best friend you can be, is to step back and take care of yourself first.

#2. Blame me, I'm your teacher, and I am telling you that if these friendships are causing you to change directions in your life, compromise your morals, and are making you act like someone you aren't, its time to step back. Blame me, I'm 100% OK with that. Have them call the church office and chew me out, I'm fine with that. You know why? Because the Bible tells us we need to face up to God, and step back. It isn't God's will for you to be in a friendship that compromises your personality and ignores wisdom. If they are a true friend they will care about what's valuable to you, if they don't care...they aren't a true friend to you.

My prayer for you today is that you will have the courage and the strength to step up to God's will for you. That you will have the desire to follow the will he has for you in your life. That you will take a step back and take care of your own spiritual state, that you will get plugged in at church, be accountable, and get discipled and grow in your faith. When that happens, you will be on the right side of the guardrail, so that when your friend(s) crash, you will be spiritually prepared to help take care of them, lift them up, encourage them, and speak life into their Hearts.

Thanks again for coming last night, Marty and I love having each of you in class and look forward to seeing you in church on Sunday and in class next week where we will be talking about relationships again, but this time we will be focusing on staying away from sexual immorality, Week #3 "Flee Baby Flee!"

Below are the notes and "Guardrails" from Week #2 along with some important links for our class!

Week #2 Notes "Why Can't We Be Friends?"

Guardrail Definition World View-
Guardrail: a system designed to keep vehicles from straying into dangerous or off-limit areas.

Guardrail Definition Spiritual View -
Guardrail: A Standard of behavior that becomes a matter of conscience/ethics/morals.

We need guardrails in friendships because friendships can be dangerous...why?

Friendships help us to drop our guards
In friendships we crave acceptance
* Acceptance leaves us open to INFLUENCE
We close down around rejection
We OPEN up around acceptance

5 Guardrails for Friendships

#1 - It dawns on you that your “core” group isn’t moving in the direction you want your life to be moving.

#2 - You catch yourself pretending to be someone other than who you really are.

#3 - You feel pressure to compromise, "When something that has never been a real temptation all of a sudden becomes a LIVE option"

#4 - You hear yourself saying, “I’ll go, but I won’t participate”

#5 - You hope that the people you care about most don’t find out where you been or whom you been with.

If you have friendships that compromise these guardrails, it is time for you to remove yourself from that friendship or that group of friends. Face up to God's will in your life and step back before its too late.

Be intentional about walking with the wise, because the companion of fools……eventually suffers harm.